Are you searching for a soul mate or unconditional love? Your quest can set you on an impossible journey to find an ideal partner. The problem is often twofold: No human being, nor any relationship can ever achieve perfection, and often unconditional and conditional love are confused.
Usually, we yearn for unconditional love because we didn’t receive it in childhood and fail to give it to ourselves. Of all relationships, parental love, particularly maternal love, is the most enduring form of unconditional love. (In prior generations, paternal love was thought of as conditional.) But in fact, most parents withdraw their love when over-stressed or when their children misbehave. To a child, even time-outs can feel emotionally abandoning. Right or wrong, most parents at times only love their children conditionally. more
All the times you’re disinterested in sex or just too tired, consider this: Sex doesn’t have to be about orgasm. Wrote Thoreau, “We need pray for no higher heaven than the pure senses can furnish, a purely sensuous life.” (The Writings of Henry David Thoreau, 1906). Yes, through lovemaking, as in meditation, you can experience spiritual heights, healing, and improved self-esteem. If you don’t have time to meditate, have sex instead. It’s about sensation, whether you want ecstatic meditation or more pleasurable sex.
Sex as meditation isn’t new. It was a path to the divine in the Indian Tantric tradition. The goal was to unify masculine and feminine energies. You needn’t be an adept to boost your bliss, perk up your relationship, and lift your self-esteem. These time-proven methods are longer lasting and healing than orgasm. Intercourse and orgasm are secondary, because you’re stimulating the brain – the source of St. Teresa’s spiritual raptures. Intimacy with your lover can engender similar results. more
Many Americans struggling with health, financial, or emotional problems find it challenging to feel grateful around Thanksgiving. Some people always have a habit of looking at the negative. One reason for this is that our brains our predisposed to solve problems, and we take what makes us comfortable for granted.
All world religions stress the importance of gratitude. In Judaism, prayers of gratefulness are an essential component of worship, which orthodox Jews recite one hundred times a day. Gratitude was referred to by Martin Luther as a “basic Christian attitude.” The Quran states that the grateful will given more. Moslem believers are encouraged to give thanks five times a day. Sufi, Hindu, and Buddhist traditions also emphasize giving thanks.
Moreover, religion exhorts that you should be grateful notwithstanding your current problems and circumstances – not to deny them, but in addition and in spite of them. To feel gratitude only when you feel good is considered narrow-minded. In the Bible, Paul teaches, “In everything give thanks.” The Hebrew Midrash instructs, “In pleasure or pain, give thanks!” Islamic tradition says that those who give thanks in every circumstance will be the first to enter paradise. more
Popular culture is focused on attracting love, yet you’ll only be able to receive as much love as you give to yourself. You’ll deflect or guard love that doesn’t resonate with you – like a compliment you don’t believe. The opposite is also true. You’ll allow others to abuse you a bit less than you abuse yourself. So if you desire lasting love, learn to love yourself, because your relationships will parallel your relationship with yourself.
The subject of love interested me from an early age after reading Erich Fromm’s The Art of Loving. I was still young and unconscious of my feelings about myself. For years, the concept of loving myself eluded me. Like many on a spiritual path, I became very good at compassion for others, but had no idea what self-love meant. Little by little, I’ve learned that it starts with self-esteem, self-acceptance, and finally compassion and love – all progressive stages. more
Dreams are far more than fantasies and wishes. They reveal inner truths, and expose incorrect conscious attitudes and resolve conflicts, providing a healing and self-regulating function. If you are inflated, they will bring you down to reality, and if you’re depressed, they can give you hope.
By understanding and learning to trust the messages in your dreams, you are communicating with your true self, your soul, and God. Carl Jung wrote that he who looks inside awakens. “The dream is a little hidden door in the innermost and most secret recesses of the soul.” Deciphering your dreams’ hidden symbols, guidance, and messages unlocks that doorway.
Freud wrote that dreams are the “Royal Road to the Unconscious.” Your unconscious beliefs, fears, motives, and desires can thwart your goals, your health, and relationships. What you don’t know controls you. Hence, interpreting your dreams can provide valuable guidance.
Additionally, dreams reveal shadow sides of your personality, both positive and negative, which need to be integrated into conscious awareness. Some dreams incorporate mythic and universal symbols from the collective unconscious. more